Teleportation At Its Worst
Sep. 4th, 2006 09:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aisuyoukaiAll right, time for another dream. This is one that I had some time back and told a brief snippet to Erin. She has been waiting forever now for me to write it out more completely. It's Halo, RedvsBlue, FFVII, and some friends of mine together for some weirdness. And stupidity. Can't forget the stupidity.
Bloodgulch: the most unwanted piece of property in the universe being "fought over" by the Red and Blue armies of Earth. Or something like that. This is where are story begins. Somewhere in the middle of its hilly, plain-like landscape with a small boulder in view to the right.
Jess finds herself teleported mysteriously here without warning and blinks several times before glancing around. She looks first right, then left, noting the scenery with a confused expression. A flash of light blinds her briefly as she looks to her left and suddenly Erin and her brother are standing next to her about five paces away. She blinks some more.
"Hey, weren't you at home?" Is the first, stupid think that comes out of Jess's mouth before she gives time to think.
"Uhhh... yea." Erin responds, glancing around looking just as confused as Jess. Russell, her brother raises his eyebrows as he glances around as well.
"So, where are we?" One of the three asks.
"Good question." A deep, resonant (and quite sexy, I might add) voice answers from nowhere. The three turn to find Master Chief walk up to them.
"MASTER CHIEF!!!" Both Jess and Erin scream out at the same time. Both then begin to run towards him in an attempt to glomp him, but are interrupted by a curious voice coming from the opposite direction.
"Master Chef?"
All four turn their heads to look at Caboose, having just walked up to them and now standing somewhat near the small boulder. Erin glances from Master Chief, back to Caboose, back to Master Chief.
"Awww, crap!" She calls out, unsure which to glomp and hang on to first, last, and most.
The decision made several minutes later, Erin rushes Caboose and glomps him. While Chief is distracted watching Erin with blank fascination, Jess creeps up on the Spartan and latches onto him.
Caboose eagerly hugs Erin back. "Oh, oh! It's Hug-Time? Why didn't someone tell me?"
The Master Chief, suddenly finding himself with a permanent human attachment, tries to pry Jess off to no avail. Eventually he gives up.
Erin and Caboose chat amiably until Jess suddenly hops over to them, dragging the Chief along, and gets Erin's attention. "Hey! Do you suppose...?" Jess never finishes the sentence, Erin and Jess share a silent communication moment where they're both thinking the same thing: Do you suppose Caboose looks anything like Joel?
Giggling with excitement, the two girls face Caboose. The blue helmeted head looks from one to the other, almost questioningly. "Hey, Caboose!" Erin says. "Can you take off your helmet?"
Nodding, Caboose complies. "Ok."
Sure enough, Caboose looks almost exactly like Joel. The girls are ecstatic.
Russell, trying to be the serious one of the group, gets everyone's attention before he starts speaking. "Hey, what's going on here? Where are we? And how did we get here?"
"It looks like you came from the teleporter." Tucker walks up out of nowhere with Church and points behind the group. Everyone turns around to look at the green-glowing teleporter exit.
"Oooohhhh..." The group goes unanimously, including Caboose in his stupidity.
The three humans look around the decidedly Bloodgulch area and wonder just how they got here. Despite Tucker's attempt to explain the situation, there's no way they could have come through that which didn't exist on their planet. Of course, after a few minutes the thinking hurt too much and they were definitely not getting anywhere. Both Jess and Erin shrug the problem off and latch on to their respective armor-wearing men. Russell unfortunately doesn't share their particular common sense and continues to be confused.
While Russell thinks in the background, Erin chats carefully (and a bit slowly) to the happy-go-lucky Caboose while Church and Tucker watch with amusement (and a bit of resentment on Tucker's part) as the rookie gets all the female's attention. Jess pretty much does the same with Master Chief, only minus the stupidity on the recieving end.
Just because things have to progress and, as far as Jess is concerned, in a bad manner, Jess says something stupid/embarassing to the Chief. Immediately in trouble, Jess looks warily around for a scapegoat. Nothing comes to her immediate attention and she starts to back up caustiously. Master Chief glares at her without mercy.
Giving up, Jess turns and sprints. She notices movement in the distance and heads for whatever it is. To her surprise and excitement, it happens to be Red XIII and she instantly glomps him as she nears. Master Chief easily catches up and runs up behind them, slowing down as he nears.
"Now what?" Master Chief asks, not really expecting an answer.
Red XIII looks up and talks to talk to the Chief. "Now we hope they don't find us."
Master Chief pauses, blinking beneath his helmet. "It talks?"
Nanaki sighs. "Why is that always the first thing people ask?"
Jess shrugs. "Sorry?"
Red glances at her with a sarcastic look to his face and she grins sheepishly with another shrug. Master Chief just shakes his head like its all routine.
Erin, Russell, and Caboose walk up behind them a little bit later, Erin holding Caboose's wrist to drag him unresistingly along. Jess glances over her shoulder at them and smirks. "You know, if you really want to keep him, you have to remember to take care of him."
"Haha." But Erin grins anyway while Russell looks slightly wondered at the prospect.
Church and Tucker walk up next, and a Sarge just so Russell has someone to talk to. A little bit later, Jess suddenly interrupts all the conversations going on and asks. "Wait! Who finds you?" She stares at Nanaki.
Nanaki never gets to answer; off in the distance a calling/whining voice can be heard in the background. Jess moans. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me." Red shakes his head, sadly.
As the entire group watches and listens, the word(s) become distinct. "Kaa-san! Kaa-san! Kaa-san, where are you?" Rising up from behind a hill comes Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz. Kadaj stops his calling/whining as soon as they clear the hill and he spots Jess. "Nee-san?"
The End
Yea, apparently I decided to write it in a fanfic-story type format. It reads like a stupidity-humor oneshot. Umm.... have fun?
Bloodgulch: the most unwanted piece of property in the universe being "fought over" by the Red and Blue armies of Earth. Or something like that. This is where are story begins. Somewhere in the middle of its hilly, plain-like landscape with a small boulder in view to the right.
Jess finds herself teleported mysteriously here without warning and blinks several times before glancing around. She looks first right, then left, noting the scenery with a confused expression. A flash of light blinds her briefly as she looks to her left and suddenly Erin and her brother are standing next to her about five paces away. She blinks some more.
"Hey, weren't you at home?" Is the first, stupid think that comes out of Jess's mouth before she gives time to think.
"Uhhh... yea." Erin responds, glancing around looking just as confused as Jess. Russell, her brother raises his eyebrows as he glances around as well.
"So, where are we?" One of the three asks.
"Good question." A deep, resonant (and quite sexy, I might add) voice answers from nowhere. The three turn to find Master Chief walk up to them.
"MASTER CHIEF!!!" Both Jess and Erin scream out at the same time. Both then begin to run towards him in an attempt to glomp him, but are interrupted by a curious voice coming from the opposite direction.
"Master Chef?"
All four turn their heads to look at Caboose, having just walked up to them and now standing somewhat near the small boulder. Erin glances from Master Chief, back to Caboose, back to Master Chief.
"Awww, crap!" She calls out, unsure which to glomp and hang on to first, last, and most.
The decision made several minutes later, Erin rushes Caboose and glomps him. While Chief is distracted watching Erin with blank fascination, Jess creeps up on the Spartan and latches onto him.
Caboose eagerly hugs Erin back. "Oh, oh! It's Hug-Time? Why didn't someone tell me?"
The Master Chief, suddenly finding himself with a permanent human attachment, tries to pry Jess off to no avail. Eventually he gives up.
Erin and Caboose chat amiably until Jess suddenly hops over to them, dragging the Chief along, and gets Erin's attention. "Hey! Do you suppose...?" Jess never finishes the sentence, Erin and Jess share a silent communication moment where they're both thinking the same thing: Do you suppose Caboose looks anything like Joel?
Giggling with excitement, the two girls face Caboose. The blue helmeted head looks from one to the other, almost questioningly. "Hey, Caboose!" Erin says. "Can you take off your helmet?"
Nodding, Caboose complies. "Ok."
Sure enough, Caboose looks almost exactly like Joel. The girls are ecstatic.
Russell, trying to be the serious one of the group, gets everyone's attention before he starts speaking. "Hey, what's going on here? Where are we? And how did we get here?"
"It looks like you came from the teleporter." Tucker walks up out of nowhere with Church and points behind the group. Everyone turns around to look at the green-glowing teleporter exit.
"Oooohhhh..." The group goes unanimously, including Caboose in his stupidity.
The three humans look around the decidedly Bloodgulch area and wonder just how they got here. Despite Tucker's attempt to explain the situation, there's no way they could have come through that which didn't exist on their planet. Of course, after a few minutes the thinking hurt too much and they were definitely not getting anywhere. Both Jess and Erin shrug the problem off and latch on to their respective armor-wearing men. Russell unfortunately doesn't share their particular common sense and continues to be confused.
While Russell thinks in the background, Erin chats carefully (and a bit slowly) to the happy-go-lucky Caboose while Church and Tucker watch with amusement (and a bit of resentment on Tucker's part) as the rookie gets all the female's attention. Jess pretty much does the same with Master Chief, only minus the stupidity on the recieving end.
Just because things have to progress and, as far as Jess is concerned, in a bad manner, Jess says something stupid/embarassing to the Chief. Immediately in trouble, Jess looks warily around for a scapegoat. Nothing comes to her immediate attention and she starts to back up caustiously. Master Chief glares at her without mercy.
Giving up, Jess turns and sprints. She notices movement in the distance and heads for whatever it is. To her surprise and excitement, it happens to be Red XIII and she instantly glomps him as she nears. Master Chief easily catches up and runs up behind them, slowing down as he nears.
"Now what?" Master Chief asks, not really expecting an answer.
Red XIII looks up and talks to talk to the Chief. "Now we hope they don't find us."
Master Chief pauses, blinking beneath his helmet. "It talks?"
Nanaki sighs. "Why is that always the first thing people ask?"
Jess shrugs. "Sorry?"
Red glances at her with a sarcastic look to his face and she grins sheepishly with another shrug. Master Chief just shakes his head like its all routine.
Erin, Russell, and Caboose walk up behind them a little bit later, Erin holding Caboose's wrist to drag him unresistingly along. Jess glances over her shoulder at them and smirks. "You know, if you really want to keep him, you have to remember to take care of him."
"Haha." But Erin grins anyway while Russell looks slightly wondered at the prospect.
Church and Tucker walk up next, and a Sarge just so Russell has someone to talk to. A little bit later, Jess suddenly interrupts all the conversations going on and asks. "Wait! Who finds you?" She stares at Nanaki.
Nanaki never gets to answer; off in the distance a calling/whining voice can be heard in the background. Jess moans. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me." Red shakes his head, sadly.
As the entire group watches and listens, the word(s) become distinct. "Kaa-san! Kaa-san! Kaa-san, where are you?" Rising up from behind a hill comes Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz. Kadaj stops his calling/whining as soon as they clear the hill and he spots Jess. "Nee-san?"
The End
Yea, apparently I decided to write it in a fanfic-story type format. It reads like a stupidity-humor oneshot. Umm.... have fun?
